It’s been a long time since I have seen you. I am so glad you decided to come back.
To be honest, I have REALLY missed you.
It feels like forever since you have been around.
If you have been stopping by to visit, I have shared some of my journey with Lymes Disease this summer. It’s been a tough summer. I had plans…
Plans that I had to set aside, so I could get my life back.
1. I was going to swim several more open water races.
2. Take the horses to shows.
3. Play in a couple of tennis tournaments.
4. Workout daily okay almost daily.
5. Visit friends.
6. Visit family.
7.Maybe buy a road bike so I could ride with my co-workers at lunchtime.
Instead, this summer, I slept. I took naps at lunch just to get through the work day. I spent lots of time taking care of my body so it could heal. I did hot and cold therapy. I took my supplements. I was beyond strict with what I ate– all to make it easier on my body to heal. I thought about working out, but most days I did not have the energy. That is until now.
So, I am beyond excited! Like jump up and down-dance down the hallway; not caring that I really can’t dance so it’s more of a bounce around; attempt a back flip!
I have worked out 7 out of the last 9 days AND I still feel good… Wait, I feel great!
I have done Jillian Michaels videos, completed 3 pool workouts, Foundation Training, and even played tennis last night!
I am really starting to feel like the old me. I still have areas that I want to improve, but I am excited to finally hit this milestone! Next goal, do a better job of writing and working out!
What in your life has had you down lately? What’s a break through that you have seen with it, even a small victory!
Today’s theme is vulnerable, most people feel vulnerable when you see them without makeup. I have a friend that won’t answer the phone without putting on her makeup. Others feel exposed in sweat pants, or with out of control hair. I am not most people… most days you can catch me without makeup, in sweats during or after a workout and my hair lives out of control if I don’t straighten it. Today, I want to be vulnerable with you… I am going to let you into a personal look at a challenging time in my life.
Recently, I dropped into a co-workers office to share some news and her response to my news was “I guess Skinny does not mean healthy…”
That was a statement I had to choke down the other day after sharing with my co-worker that I have Lyme’s Disease. I love my co-worker but that statement hit me like a ton of bricks… I mean, the word disease is not really all warm and fluffy! It’s definitely not a word that I want to use to describe a time in my life. Hey, I don’t even want to admit that I have a disease. I felt like I had sewn a scarlet A on my chest. No matter how hard I tried to deny it, my body would not let me reject this new title. But when I let that thought settle, I realized it was true. Skinny does not mean healthy. I am not the skinniest girl alive or even the skinniest I have ever been, but I am not my healthiest either. I am however fighting a new, unexpected battle.
Let me back up a little here, I was excited for this summer to be full of great workouts, healthy food, lots of wakeboarding, riding the horses, hanging out with friends, open water swims (I had my eye on 3 more states for the summer) and a GREAT tennis season. What I did not expect was to put all of this on hold to let my body heal. Several weeks ago, I was debating whether or not to play a tennis match. I had strained my elbow, and it was feeling “iffy” at the time. Then,x there was the pesky rash that was extending down my arm. But I am tough—I decided to play.
Warming up, my arm felt pretty good. I had applied Kineseo tape to my arm to help support it. I started to notice that I was just a little bit of off my normal game. Everyone goes through days where you just don’t play your best, but it’s my job to figure out a way to pull myself together and play well. I could not quite place what was wrong. I chalked it up to the heat, drank some more water and stepped onto the court. Mentally, I was feeling pretty good. The court I was playing on and I had some good mojo going from the previous season. This is the court that I had beaten a very strong player on last year in a tough mental match; 6-4, 6-4. Generally, scores like that reflect just a slight mental edge. We started our match, and no matter what I tried I felt like the normal me had checked out. Replaced by a robot.
As the match progressed, I had trouble reading the ball (knowing where it was going when my opponent hit it). I felt like my legs weighed 100lbs. each. I knew what the score was, but when I called it out, different numbers came out of my mouth. I was starting to get concerned. On change-over (every two games we switch which side of the court we play on), I ate most of an apple and a couple of prunes; hoping my blood sugar was low and that the normal me would soon return. No such luck. My vision did not return, and I was beginning to get scared because I did not understand what was going on. I got really concerned when I tossed the ball and forgot what I was supposed to do. The match was over in what seemed like a blink of an eye. I crawled off the court and called for my family to come pick me up. I was afraid to try to drive, thinking that I would not be able to control the car.
As I waited for a ride, I started to panic and called a friend to keep me calm until the cavalry arrived. Thankfully, my dad and brother were around the corner. My brother packed my bag that I left open on the court and carried it out to the car. On the drive home, I reached out to several Naturopathic doctors asking for things I could do to help me feel better. Once home, I showered; I took a handful of vitamin C; and I curled up in bed.
The next day was spent working with a great team, figuring out what all was going on in my body. By mid-day the Naturopaths felt pretty certain it was Lymes. In the middle of that pesky rash, we saw the bullet hole (the bite mark). All I could think, SERIOUSLY…I… have Lymes? And oh wait it gets better! My digestive track was not absorbing the proper nutrients I was putting in it; my heart and liver were stressed! Time to make a game plan to get better. In case you are not familiar with Lymes, it is a disease that one can get from ticks or mosquitos.
According to WebMD the symptoms of Lymes include: “In the early stages of Lyme disease, you may experience flu-like symptoms that can include a stiff neck, chills, fever, swollen lymph nodes, headaches, fatigue, muscle aches, and joint pain. You also may experience a large, expanding skin rash around the area of the tick bite. In more advanced disease, nerve problems and arthritis, especially in the knees, may occur. […]Heart problems. Fewer than one out of 10 Lyme disease patients develops heart problems[..]Other symptoms. and severe fatigue, although none of these problems is likely to appear without other Lyme disease symptoms being present.”
I left the clinic armed with supplements to take and an eating plan to stick to. I feel like standing on the rooftop, and telling everyone that I am so grateful to have a great support system of people in my life that will help dig in and get my body back to functioning at its best.
This past month has pushed me to grow more than I thought possible. One of the scariest and biggest symptoms that I have been experiencing is mental fogginess. Strike that, it’s more than mental fogginess. There have been times over the last month that I could not get the words from my brain to come out of my mouth. Or, I have been known to say things that don’t make sense. These are the moments that can scar the crap out of anyone! These moments have earned me a new nickname at work, “Lymie.” One day, I was reviewing my PowerPoint slides & presentation that I was to deliver the next day to the international finance department for my company with my boss. I was staring at the screen and unable to deliver my well prepared speech. A little more than a scary feeling… My boss and I made a game plan, just in case I was not feeling well the next day; I went home for extra sleep. God was awesome, the next day I had a mentally clear day and presented my speech without incident.
No one expects to be sidelined. I certainly was not expecting my summer to be a slower paced summer. I have stuck to the game plan that docs laid out that day. I have been good with my supplements, great with my eating, and have made more than a conscious effort to take care of my body so it can heal. It’s been over a month since the tennis match night and I am finally beginning to work out again. I even was able take a run on the wakeboard…Yay! If all goes well, I will play my first match in 5+ weeks on Thursday.
Thank you for letting me be vulnerable with you. I may not be standing in front of you without make up on, but to me letting you see a little bit of my crazy month is a lot more intimidating.